Perfection

There are few things in life that can be considered as perfect. Today's Christmas would be one of them. What a beautifully perfect day with my family. It was everything a Christmas should be. Merry Christmas to all.

Yay me!!

Once and awhile I have to give myself a pat on the back. Sometimes I think that I should be "becoming" something. Like an author, ( I'd love to do that...and someday I will) or a painter, or an interior decorator. Today as I finished up my little girl's haircut, I realized...I AM becoming someone. I could never cut hair so good before. And I've painted all the rooms in my house, well the ones that are repainted at least and they look fabulous. I've decorated my home I think tastefully and to top it all off, I'm a darn good cook. :). Just to mention a few. So darn it, I like who I'm becoming. And for all you other moms out there, think of who you are becoming. You are doing it everyday band if you don't like the fruits of your labors do to speak, change it up. You have the power to make yourself whomever you will.

How sweet it is...

I opened the cheese bag today and was greeted with a smile. It's reasons like this that make me smile and make me thank Heavenly Father that I'm a mom. I looooovve it!!!

Thoughts

My heart aches for the families,friends and others who have been affected by the shooting on Friday. You are in my prayers.

Baby Blues

A friend asked me recently if I ever suffered from post partum depression.  I told her, "No.  I suffered from an identity crisis."  I say that with humor now, and NOW, I can define it.  Then, I wasn't sure what I was feeling.  Hopefully this post will help my friend and other new mothers.  

It probably was post partum depression, as it would be defined in the medical world, but to me, I didn't feel depressed.  I felt lost.  I was so use to "my life" whatever you want to think of that as, and here a new infant had changed everything.  EVERYTHING I had done or could do previous to having a child was changed.  EVERYTHING.  So, I felt lost.  I felt like I was not myself, because I wasn't.  I had to redefine me in my new role.  I was no longer Erin.  I was mom.  And I didn't know what mom felt like, and I didn't know how mom should act or react for that matter. 

For you that have had children, you probably understand what I mean.  But for you who have not, it's difficult to try to help you wrap your thoughts around the feelings I felt.  And even you husbands, you have an idea, but not a full grasp on what being a new mom is.  Let me try to help you understand my identity crisis.

Every part of my life changed.  I changed physically, emotionally, mentally....I could no longer wake up when I chose.  I could no longer sleep all night long.  I could no longer take a shower whenever I felt like it, or for as long as I'd like.  I could no longer wear certain clothes because they didn't work so well for nursing, or they didn't fit at all due to my new...shape.  Even when night came, I couldn't relax in my old p.j.'s because I had to wear my bra all night to prevent my milk from leaking everywhere.  I could no longer eat normal because eating certain foods caused "reactions" in my baby.  I had to eat when maybe I didn't want to, because my baby depended on my calorie intake.  I could no longer leave the house whenever to go wherever.  I had to time things out.  I had to wait.  I had to learn.  I had to train myself on this new FULL TIME job.  Although I received more than enough advice from well seasoned mothers, it didn't help much because each baby is different, and I'm different than each mom.  What worked for them seemed ridiculous for us!  I was on my own.  AND to make me more uptight, this wasn't a normal job.  I was raising a human being!!  I was in charge of another life, another soul.  TALK ABOUT PRESSURE.  (Which I still feel everyday, by the way.)  So, not only did I have to start redefining my own life, I was defining a life for the first time EVER.  Finally, just when you think you've got it figured out, something changes.  A growth spurt, diaper rash, nightmares, weather changes...so then you begin the defining over again.  It feels like you're starting from square one.     

Sounds pretty bleak huh?  Well, at times, it was.  There were many tears of sadness and confusion, BUT... I can't express how grateful I am for the opportunity.  For in redefining myself, I've learned more about what life is really all about.  I've been changed for the better.  AND now that I've been in the role of mom for awhile, I'm understanding more and more every day, and hopefully getting better at it too. 

So, for all you new moms who feel like you may be suffering from "depression", it's okay.  You're redefining who you are and what's most important in life, and that sometimes isn't so fun.  But, the rewards are the most important too.   

Tale of two mice

So, whoever said that "no creature was stirring, not even a mouse" was not referring to our house at Christmastime. My husband and I have never had mice in all our married life (8 years). This week, we've had two. Two!!! My nose itches just telling this tale. So, Friday, I see a mouse running out in our garage. You can read more of that story in my earlier post. I set a trap. Killed the mouse. Horray!! Peace in the land. So, yesterday as I'm getting my children out of the car, what to my wondering eyes should appear??!! A hideous mouse inside our car!!!! Incase you didn't catch the magnitude of grossness in that statement, let me repeat it. A mouse...IN OUR CAR!!! Uckkk!! So, we immediately bring out the big guns, buy traps, poison, call our friends to reserve their cat for the night.... Everything you could think of and then we wait.
I think this picture says it all. Disgusting!! No creature is stirring anymore.

Time to Laugh

Ahhhhhhh!!!  Nothing's better than hot chocolate topped with cool, frothy whip cream and currently I'm sipping a cup with an extra helping on top.  I feel I deserve it. 

It all began last night at 1:14 a.m.   My daughter was calling for me and walking into her room, I immediately knew that she was sick from the putrid smell that met me.  So, into the bath she went and into the washer went sheet, comforter, p.j.'s and pillows.  Quickly making up a new bed for her on the couch, while juggling the spouts of more throwing up (sorry, poor choice of words)...I finally tucked her in and settled in on the floor beside her.  Sickness continued throughout the night and all that goes with that.

So, thank goodness for sunshine and mornings that bring hope for a better day.  But, I guess my mommy adventures were just beginning.  Do you ever feel like some days nothing of importance of "tragedy" happened and then other days, you can't even finish cleaning up one mess before another begins??  Well, that's been today.  Would you like to experience the journey for yourself?  Well hang on!! 

After I get Katie comfortable with a movie, little Jackson wants to take a bath.  Throw him in.  Get breakfast ready for older kids to head to school.  My husband calls out to me from the tub saying Jackson has pooped in the tub.  So, quickly throw my kids a piece of toast and head into the bathroom.  I remove the....stuff, empty the tub, begin again on new bath.  Go to kitchen, finish breakfast, scoot kids off to get dressed.  Jackson poops again.  Bath time is officially over.  Diaper is quickly put on.  Rotate laundry.  Nicholas was sick yesterday and has two homework pages to finish up AND has to read a chapter in the Boxcar Children.  I begin reading to him, while he puts on his shoes and socks and while I do Natalie's hair with my free hand.  Jackson needs breakfast.  Throw him in the highchair and pour the closest thing onto his tray...nerds candy.  Whatever works, right??  Finish Natalie's hair.  Follow Nicholas around while he brushes his teeth and combs his hair continuing to read to him.  He starts his homework pages while I keep reading.  Who says you can't learn two things at once??  Nicholas begins to cry because one of his homework pages is missing.  ARRRRGGG.....I threw it away.  (I'm blaming that character trait on you mom.)  So, I go out to the garage to dig through the garbage I took out yesterday.  On the way out, turn on a new cartoon for Katie who is calling for me on the couch.  Rotate laundry.  I go out to the garbage and begin to scavenger through it...(I left it in the garage,) and a MOUSE comes running out from behind the bag!!!  Quick scream!  AHHH!!  Pull it together.  Dig through garbage, find the homework, bring it in to dry because it is kinda wet.  Nicholas crying more because his homework is wet.  Clock says 8:32, school starts at 8:35.  Natalie wants hair put in ponytails.  Finish hair.  Take away Katie's water bottle from Jackson.  Time to go, we'll be late.  Nicholas not ready.  I throw Natalie and Jackson in the car, take her to school.  Sign her in with a tardy slip walk her to class.  (Note to reader....I am in my sweats, flip flops, no make-up, no hair done.  I've been up since 1:00, remember??  I look awesome!!)  Give her a kiss.  Run to car, drive home.  Nicholas almost done with homework.  While he's finishing up, I set a mouse trap and put it in the garage.  While I'm setting it, mouse runs right by me again.  EEEEKK!!!  Grossed out.  Go inside, start putting Nicholas's coat  on him while he finishes up his math facts.  Grab everything, load in the car.  Check mouse trap.  Pull out of garage, and start off to school.  Oops!!  Forgot Nicholas's glasses.  Head back home.  Nicholas goes in to find them.  Can't.  I head in to find him.  Check mouse trap.  Find glasses.  Start new cartoon for Katie.  Pull out of garage.  Get to school, looking great.  Check in, take Nicholas to class.  Kiss on head.  Go back home.  Start cleaning up breakfast.  Notice Nicholas left hat and gloves.  Grrrrrrrrrr....throw Jackson back in car.  Check the mouse trap.  Darn.  Drive to school, run in.  Throw Nicholas his hat and gloves.  Drive back home.  

Now....finally.....All is calm, all is well.  AND NOW...I'm sipping on my hot cocoa, cause darn it, I deserve a little reward.  I believe. 

Checked for mouse.

   

Magic of Christmas

I got a little teary eyed today as I realized that this Christmas might be the most magical our family will ever have and that the magic won't last forever.  My kids are all at perfect ages where the Magic of Christmas is alive and well.  My children's eyes are aglow with excitment and are counting down the days until we are visited by the man in the red suit.  It's been so fun to talk with them and be excited with them.  They love the advent calendar, the lights, the tree, the music, the caroling, the presents, the hussle and bustle... And what's more beautiful is even though they love the Santa part, they also love the Savior and the true reason for the season. The Christmas spirit is so beautiful. It's alive and well in our home. We believe.